Love Handles....

Mama P,

How are you this fine January day? Wonderful I hope. I’m quite jealous of you having Robbie so close by, I’d much prefer him here to keep me warm.

We’ve been treated to some new photo’s of your divine son these past few days and he’s looking beautiful as per usual. I can see that mess of hair is beginning to grow back out, must be hard work for him, and you must be keeping him stocked up with shampoo, it’s looking quite shiny.

Has he been feasting on Shepherds Pie, Yorkshire Puddings and Spotted Dick? He’s looking like there is a little more meat on his bones, a little more for me to grab onto, you know? Thank you for adding something else into his diet other than Hot Pockets and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. You’re spoiling him and I love you for that.

I’m sure you don’t want to hear it, but I’ll tell you anyway… the picture above; pure sex. I can not get enough of that picture. I’d like to slip my tongue in his mouth and make him drop the cig and the fangs, wrap my hands in his hair and feel his scruff on my skin. Your son drives many women to wish that. What is it about him? His looks of course, but his wit and charm and sweetness and talent have something to do with it to. I could go on and on (and I will, but we’ll save that for later).

This is quite the rambling thank you note today. I’m not really forming very coherent thoughts because of that blasted image above swirling around in my head.

But thank you Mama P. Thank you for bringing up such a gem. He’s a keeper.

Yours utterly thankfully,
K

P.S. Would it be odd for him to have plastic fangs at the wedding?